The things we say...

**Dunavila Masunati** · Independent Joined: 30 Dec 2007 Posts: 187

Encase you haven't noticed, I'm not always the brilliant and articulate person I pretend to be. I know shocking, save your tears. In fact, I probably say a good deal of none sense throughout the day and I decided to share it with you today. In return you slap a quote on the table and see if we all can trump each other with our awesomeness. Leave as many as you like, post as many times as you want. It's like that American version of Who's line is it anyways. Everythings made up and the points don't matter. ~~And the winner gets to do something special with me.~~

This has become my only answer every time someone says "Surprise!"
"Is that surprise, cake or surprise, peenee?"

Conversation between myself and a friend
Friend: You're like the rum to my Jack.
Me: I get you drunk and make advances towards pretty gals?
Friend: Every day.
Me: Awwwww, thats the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.

An extremely late IM conversation between same friend as above. There was more but I cut it off about midway. There was shouting of Free Tibet and the Peanut Butter Jelly song being sung, cloning, and a flash of green light.
Friend: I was already planning to do that. And I grinned evilly in my planning.
Me: Muahahahaha
Me: *Thunder and lightening effects*
Friend: *Cat meows!*
Me: *Dog barks*
Friend: *Snake hisses*
Me: *Horse neighs*
Friend: *Chip crunches*
Me: *Dip... dips*
Friend: *Salsa makes noise so quiet it's almost inaudible*
Me: *Drools drool of a loud drooling noise*
Friend: *Mop mopping up drool noise*
Me: *Thanks the thank of mopping mop of drool noise*
Friend: *Janitor putting away the mop and nodding his welcome in the mop thanks noise*
Me: *Is completely dumbfounded on what to say in the talking to janitor of putting away mop.... stuff*
Friend: ...Does that mean I win?
Me: Aye
Friend: *Explodes*
Me: O.O
Me: *Dances (Remorsefully) in Friend confetti*
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August 16th, 8AM - August 17th, 8AM (24 hours without net access)

**Tylana** · Site Admin Joined: 26 Dec 2007 Posts: 702 Location: Space

Crazy chick. I just had this conversation with my housemate when I got home.

Me: I walked into a door today.
Housemate: Were you drunk?
Me: No...I was in work.
Housemate: So?
Me: You've been unemployed for too long.

And he has, this evening when I got home from work he was sauntering around semi-nude singing show tunes.
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**Dunavila Masunati** · Independent Joined: 30 Dec 2007 Posts: 187

Right after I posted I got a gem between my brother I and no, drinking was not involved. My brother takes vitamins (my whole family does) and he was taking some when I wandered by him at the computer table.

Me: Hey, whatcha selling man? I got five bucks.
Brother: *Rolls eyes* Can't take these ones.
Me: Why not? *Picks up bottle and reads the label* Oooo, for men eh.
Brother: Yes. You'll grow a penis. *Stares at me, daring to say something*
Me: *Puts bottle back on table*............. Then you'll have the brother you've always wanted.
Brother: *Groans*
Me: *Cackles*
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Work Schedule
August 16th, 8AM - August 17th, 8AM (24 hours without net access)

**Tylana** · Site Admin Joined: 26 Dec 2007 Posts: 702 Location: Space

This is a huge testiment to the nerdiness of my family. Myself, the boyf and the bro are in our lounge, having chinese and a few beers. We are discussing redecorating the room. This is how the conversation went:

Bro: So are yous gonna paint?
Boyf: Yeah, she's *points to me* talking about the different coloured walls thing.
Bro: Typical, women always talk about doing that. What colours?
Me (the "typical woman"): That wall's gonna be FFFFFF, and the other one at the end is gonna be FF3300.
Bro: *chuckles then straightens up* Interesting choice.
Boyf: *confused* Nerds.
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**Dunavila Masunati** · Independent Joined: 30 Dec 2007 Posts: 187

Haha!! That's sad that I totally know the colors you're talking about. Since I've been kinda MIA, I got a couple of wonderful moments for ya.

Me: *Munches on a dog biscuit* Blegh... these are gross.
Mom: Did you, just... eat one of those?
Me: Yes, I did. They're horrible, why are we giving these to your dog?
Bro: Yeah, I tried one too. They taste like crap.
Mom:... Why are my children eating dog food?!?!?!

Best part of that, a week later my dad asked us if we knew how terrible the biscuits tasted. Brother and I agreed while my poor mum thinks we're crazy.

Actual conversation between my brother and I about superheroes while sitting in the truck waiting for a friend.

Me: Superman sucks, he can die by a rock. It take a bullet to take down Batman.
Brother: Batman can die by a rock... if it's thrown really hard and at his head.
Me: I'd rather die by a bullet then a rock, people are going to remember you. "So how'd he die." "A small glowing rock." "Wow... that sucks."
Brother: Flash could kill both of them.
Me: Nu uh.
Brother: Yeah huh, he moves at the speed of light and can vibrate himself to a intangible substance, reach in and squeeze Superman's heart.
Me: I high doubt Superman would just let him do that.
Brother: Hes too fast!
Me: But I thought you couldn't kill him, bullets bounce off him. Wouldn't his innards have the same affect.
Brother: No, hes just Kyrptonian, only strong.
Me: ... So he's invincible on the outside, but on the inside he's a squishy marshmellow human? That doesn't make sense. You suck!
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August 16th, 8AM - August 17th, 8AM (24 hours without net access)

**Tylana** · Site Admin Joined: 26 Dec 2007 Posts: 702 Location: Space

LOL those are great. I have a friend who eats dog biscuits with a cup of tea. As for the Batman Vs Superman argument, I'm with you.
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**Dunavila Masunati** · Independent Joined: 30 Dec 2007 Posts: 187

There are some pretty good tasting ones out there. I know, people think it's weird but seriously, if it tastes disgusting to you. What's your dog thinking? Granted, I've seen dogs eat rat poo, but ya know... um... it's exotic?

I had actually saved that Superman/Batman quote to tell a friend and I came across some really old ones from when I worked at a coffee shop/plant nursery. When I wasn't being a barista I was hauling bags of soil and fertilizer. With my swiss cheese memory, I only remember one thing I said from the list. It was after moving a pallet where 50 cockroaches were hiding. I screamed (But just a little) and my boss rolls her eyes and sighs.

"Hey, I'm not afraid of a lot of things. I'm working on the bug problem. *Steps on a roach* Ha! Take that! Evolution meet the bottom of my shoe."
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Work Schedule
August 16th, 8AM - August 17th, 8AM (24 hours without net access)

**Dunavila Masunati** · Independent Joined: 30 Dec 2007 Posts: 187

This punchy one came from working over the weekend. To reiterate, I'm a caregiver and I do 24 hour shifts. I had pardoned myself to use the facilities and no sooner had I bent to wash my hands afterward when the door opens. (I've learned to lock now)

Lady: What are you doing?
Me: ... o.O
Lady: ...
Me: ... I'm thinking, really hard.
Lady: Oh, all right. *Leaves and I hear laughter from the hallway*
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Work Schedule
August 16th, 8AM - August 17th, 8AM (24 hours without net access)

**POOBeard** · Independent Joined: 02 Aug 2008 Posts: 56

Waiting at a red light trying to make a right turn.

Mom: *sigh*
me: Alright im going!
mom: I didnt say anything!
me: yes you did you sighed. it was one of those Go already! i woulda gone sighs
Mom: *Laughter* you could tell from that sigh
Me: Weve been together for nearly 18 years i THINK i can understand your sigh language

That was when i first started driving
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**Tylana** · Site Admin Joined: 26 Dec 2007 Posts: 702 Location: Space

LOL. Omi your lady sounds pretty cool. Barging in on your bathroom time and asking what you're doing is a little strange. Though my nan does stuff like that a lot. Which reminds me of a conversation I had with her a couple of months ago when I called around to visit one Sunday...

Nan: You were on tv last night.
Me: I was?
Nan: I didn't like the top you were wearing.
Me: What top was I wearing?
Nan: A pink one.
Me: Really.
Nan: Yes, I didn't like it, too sparkly.
Me: Ok I won't wear it again.
Nan: And I don't know how you can stand dancing with that tennis player.
Me: ... *gives up*

Turns out she was watching a reality show called Dancing on Ice and had me confused with a little blonde ice dancer who was paired with Greg Rusedski. I look nothing like her and I very rarely wear pink.
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**Dunavila Masunati** · Independent Joined: 30 Dec 2007 Posts: 187

"You all, I'm all for conspiracy theories but it is way too early in my shift to be thinking this."

I was on my way to work and a "Crop duster" airplane flew over the roads, paused and backed the hell up. I'm not kidding you and I nearly drove off the road watching it.
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Work Schedule
August 16th, 8AM - August 17th, 8AM (24 hours without net access)

**Dunavila Masunati** · Independent Joined: 30 Dec 2007 Posts: 187

I just stumbled upon a plethora of goodness from yours and friends truly in our random IM moments. I didn't change the format so you get the pretty asterick things.

Lil Diva: They're exotic...like kiwis
Me: Or apples!
Lil Diva: Oh apples and kiwis spooning!
Me: Naughty
Lil Diva: No kidding. I had to shield my dog's eyes when I saw it on stolen cable the other night
Me: oh you caught that too?
Lil Diva: *Eyebrow twitch* Yeah. I thought it was the Food Network
Me: ...Food Pron network

~*~*~*~

Me: The monkey pissed him off... so he ate his arm.

~*~*~*~

Diva Queen: What do elder neather regions smell like?
Lil Diva: Moldy cheese
Me: and beer

~*~*~*~

Lil Diva: It feels just like the old days
Lil Diva: And by old days I mean last week
Me: And by last week you mean like an hour ago?
Lil Diva: ...Yeah pretty much.

~*~*~*~

Me: This bio is killing me and I have to post... but... urgh.
Me: ...distracted
Me: Cheetos!
Lil Diva: I think we need to get you blinders
Me: *Munches on cheetos gleefully* I think those would help vastly

~*~*~*~

Diva Queen : >poot<
Me: *Febreeze*
Diva Queen: WHAT FLAVOR
Me: .... Squash
Diva Queen: o.o
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August 16th, 8AM - August 17th, 8AM (24 hours without net access)

**Tylana** · Site Admin Joined: 26 Dec 2007 Posts: 702 Location: Space

This is a conversation I had with a work buddy (Dave) about my boyfriend (now officially known as "Chuckles").

Me: Chuckles bought a Wii Fit at the weekend.
Dave: My girlfrend bought one of those a while ago, she likes the yoga on it.
Me: Chuckles doesn't like the yoga. He tried it the other night, fell over and knocked himself unconscious on the table.
Dave: No way. Has he used it since?
Me: No, but only because I renamed his Mii "Pudge" and purposely messed up his fit age. Now he thinks he's 76 and it depresses him everytime he turns it on.
Dave: That's fuckin' evil.
Me: I know.
Dave: You didn't really do that.
Me: Oh didn't I? *cackle*
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